The following witty comment was brought to you by my latest WordPress plugin, Hello Simpsons Chalkboard Gag: I will not scare the Vice President.
Everything following the colon above was dynamically pulled from a listing of all past chalkboard gags by Bart Simpson. And no, I did not have to sit through the hundreds of episodes, painstakingly writing down each one. Thanks to The Simpsons Archive, I was able to just write a tiny Perl script that parsed their listing of gags from each episode.
This plugin was inspired by two sources. The first was my love of the over-two-decade-old television show and the second was a desire to show something a little more interesting than lines from Hello Dolly in my WordPress admin area. Let me explain: by default, WordPress comes with a plugin that shows a line from Hello Dolly at the top right corner of every page on the administration side of the site (not visible to general viewers of the site).
As fantastic a musician as Louis Armstrong is, he’s just not my cup of tea. Call me uncultured or say that I’m missing out, but I much prefer Bart’s witty, moderately-crude humor. Also, there are only 28 lines in Hello Dolly, meaning only 28 possible headers in my WordPress admin area. Hello Simpsons Chalkboard Gag has 296 possible results as of publishing this, and that number will continue to grow with each new episode.
In addition to changing up the little bit of text displayed on the admin side of the site, I also added the option to include a simpsons shortcode, which is what was used at the top of this post to load one of the chalkboard gags dynamically within this post. This was really an afterthought and the only reason I decided to include it was because the necessary work was already done in handling the primary project, so adding the shortcode was trivial.